Changes

for better or worse?

i dont know, but i know that i did the correct choice of withdrawing from school because, i wasnt feeling happy afterall.

and they always say, live your life the way that you will be happy. right?
or did i come up with it myself?

hahahaha! (:

its okay,
as long as i know i'm happy.

i know i'm tired, but i'm really so much happier now.
i still feel moody sometimes but i think its PMS urh. (dont you agree?)
i get emotional easily when its the time of the month.
but i'm enjoying and being happy now~

just ended work, LATE, i know. but i had tons of fun with Shane & KC!
and in the afternoon, Tina & renan~
very fun~

there's one thing i like about closing, things get busy, we rush like mad, we are high (as though on drugs!)! we play loud music! even though theres so many many things to do, so many things to clean, we always work as a team! we do our part and make it cleaner! hehehehe.

i think i'm now too high till i'm still not sleeping!
i'm being an owl, awake in the night.

i'm thinking of taking japanese outside.
but not sure which school is better, more worth it.
sigh. anyone has a good one to recommend? hehehe.

planning to switch to full time too.
i want to go oversea, enjoy life a little.
hehehe.

alright, i better try and sleep, if not i'll be a zombie eh?

nights pple!

(:

uphill, downhill, everywhere.

thats what my emotions are these two days.

terrible feelings.

lost.

contradictions.

isolation.

crying.

feeling as though its the end of the world.

worried about making wrong choices.

felt like giving up everything.

and so many many things that i dont know what else describe it.

i guess, i'm just like a crab, strong on the outside, emotional on the inside.

a colleague told me ytd that she feels i'm a strong person..

yet i know deep down i'm not.

i'm just like a crab. :/

after talking it through with my mom,

i guess, i have more or less an idea what to do this two months or so.

but yet, i dont know if things will work out again..

i dont dare to step out, worried that every step i take is the wrong choice that i'll regret sooner or later. i'm thinking back to where i left sec sch... why i ended up taking biotech in poly.

and should i continue with in that direction..

whether i still have a passion for it.

my mind is mixed up..

my feelings are mixed up.

it has been like a roller coaster ride.

i know i told everyone i'm okay, i'm surviving in school.

but deep down, i know i'm not enjoying it anymore.

the moment i step into school, i start counting down to the hours left.

how do i enjoy going to school again?

is it the course or is it just me being naughty, not wanting to go to school.

what, tell me..

i need answers, yet i know only i have the answer to all the questions that i have.

but yet again, i cant decide on the answer myself.

its like liking it yet hating it at the same time.

is this what love is? or what passion is?

loving and hating together?

or am i in the wrong mindset afterall.

anyway, i'm sorry if i worry anyone out there.

I think its just a phase where i need to go through it now.

i think i just rushed into going into university last year.

didnt think of the things that i want.

i just told myself last year that i can survive uni.

but surviving and doing what i really want is different right?

now, i dont want to force myself into doing things that i dont want to do anymore.

not that i'm finding the easy way out.

its just, not appealing to me anymore.

i wonder why am i so upset with it.

somehow, i have a feeling that i had made up my mind.

yet, i keep telling myself that it might be a wrong choice.

sigh.

maybe i should just stop thinking about it for awhile.

let my mind roam free and easy.

maybe then i'll find a solution or an answer to what i want.

bye.

CNY!

新年快乐！

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR.

time flies, like SERIOUSLY.

was looking through my picture folder on my laptop and to realize that time flies.

its been 4 years since i graduated from SEC SCHOOL!

going 1 year since i graduated from POLY.

and i'm already going 4th week into my second semester in UNI!

been working at subway for like what, 9 months!?!

wow. time zoomed past, dont they.

and my pet hamster of 2 years and 5 month just left me today. (06-02-11)

[R.I.P my 豆豆/阿肥 (hamster), thanks for spending your 2 years and 5 months with me! (: I LOVE YOU FAT FAT! 17 Sept 2008 - 06 FEB 2011.]

alright. i hate time moving so fast uh.

or maybe because i'm living in singapore.

busyness leads to not stopping and enjoy life.

i just spent my 3 days of CNY holiday doing nothing school related.

completed only my microbiology report today.

only type a crap paragraph for my japan and singapore assignment.

didnt revise any other modules.

listen through the multimedia for japanese 1.

argh.

can i have another 4 days of holiday again?

PLEASE?

rewind leh!

FE IS PISSED OFF WITH TIME PASSING BY SO FAST.

HMMMMF!

okay, whatever.

i better go type somemore for my damn assignment 1. :/

BYES.